April 30, 2013, 3:19 am
I just awoke from the strangest dream. It took me some time to remember I was in Washington DC. At first I felt like I was in a room that was all that existed in the universe. It was like this hotel room but so different. I knew that if I spoke, nobody could hear me; there was no one to. There was a light but it seemed more like luminous darkness. I was contained inside the walls of the room and yet I seemed to be able to see beyond them, out into infinity. I relaxed into my bed and dozed off and that is when it happened.
I was somewhere else. Entirely and instantly. I was naked and uncovered, laying on my back. At first I thought I was alone and then I realized I was in the dark, a kind of darkness I’d never seen or is it felt before. I was petrified and I new I had to relax. I willed myself to relax…to relax into the fear. I said the words to myself, ‘into my fear’, and I let go into the blackness. Then I knew I wasn’t alone. There was…a presence. It was not coming from one place, it was all around me. I knew it could sense me, sense my every sensation and emotion. I tried to remain still, emotionally still, undetectable and I knew that the presence could feel me doing that. I felt the feeling that there was no point trying to hide. I should just open up, and I relaxed, and I dropped my guard.
As I did, as I opened myself up to the presence…to them…I felt myself held open, from that space of self-willingly by choice and then suddenly not so; I was held open and stretched a little and vulnerable and naked…I felt for the fear, expecting to be terrified. All of this I felt being tracked by the presences around me. It then occurred to me that this could be the end of my life. I did not know what was about to happen. And yet I wanted it to happen. Whatever it would be, it would be time.
With that, I relaxed. I felt them feel me do it and I moaned as the mutual pleasure reverberated. Now I understood, my emotions now existed within a resonance field, I was vibrating into a pool of empathy that would come back to me. This connected what I felt as the mutual understanding, that they wanted to feel my orgasm and I wanted to offer myself. My willingness was met by the warmth of gratitude. I was so willing, yearning, and then I felt that I would be explored in every nuance of my emotions, slowly, on the way releasing. When they wanted me to, not when I did, and I moaned into the space of that freedom.
I felt a new energy in the space, different, bass guitar sensation of depth and of pulses of fear mingled with anticipation. Whatever was coming, I wanted it, and though I felt I should be terrorized, I was not. I did not know what would happen or when. Then something alive clasped onto my clitoris firmly, stunning me…I gasped and this echoed through the emotions of the entities around me, though the sensation was pleasant, so concentrated, though the sensation of this thing, it felt like a worm, sucking directly onto my clit verged on repulsive I could only release myself to it, and I did, and as I did, I became pleasure. Fully exposed as such, an offering to the experience of whomever cared enough to do this, to experiment with my human form. I moaned my delight and felt them feel my choice to do so.
I knew they were seeking understanding and something deep within me needed to feel understood.
I felt I could guide myself anywhere. I could experience any expression of pleasure, dark or light, and as I experienced the need to be penetrated, suddenly I was, by some sentient creature which swam into and inhabited the depths of my cavity, expanding itself out as it did so around which I both opened and expanded, freed from inside myself, crying out in the delight of offering and submission and the gorgeous pleasure rolling within me, penetrated and still being sucked on by the worm that had attached itself to my clitoris.
I wanted to give more and to feel more, and I moaned that urgently, so loudly I woke myself up to the sound of my own voice, finding myself in my bed set within infinity, the walls around me stretching out forever like mirrors facing one another opening into a vast space where I was all alone, just for a moment, for almost short enough of a time to forget but long enough to remember, fleeting as it was, as I woke up in my hotel room early Tuesday before daybreak.
All the feelings of what had just happened were vivid in my body and I felt the deepest comfort with my physicality and the sensation of full sexual satisfaction. I showered and dressed and walked around the empty city.
